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I’m Suing Buffalo Wild Wings

I wonder how many times I’ve brought up Buffalo Wild Wings on this blog. But I mean, I was in love with the place for a VERY long time. Unfortunately, things didn’t workout and I moved on. But about a week ago, I went back for the first time in a very long time, and my life has gotten tremendously worst since.

On Tuesday’s, Buffalo Wild Wings runs a promotion for Buy One Get One, so if you purchase boneless wings then you get more of that same exact size for free. So me being the genius that I am, I ordered a large (24) boneless wings. So if you’re doing your math right, I got 48 wings for around $20. There’s nothing better than playing the system.

I ordered 12 wings of four different flavors: Buffalo (Dry Rub), Hot BBQ, Thai Curry, and Mango Habanero. The wings, at the time, were delicious as usual. Mango Habanero of course burned me up, but the other three flavors were heavenly as usual. I left the restaurant very pleased with my meal.

But then I got home.

The second that I walked into my door, I got hit with an absolute awful case of the stomach rumbles. The events that would soon happen are too graphic to cover, so I’ll instead present you a GIF that will help you use your imagine so you can picture the event in your head.

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If you all remember the Saints and Rams NFC Championship Game that feels like a decade ago, then you know the play where Nickell Robey-Coleman practically assassinated a Saints receiver while the ball was in the air, which usually results in a pass interference call. This time though, the ref went full Stevie Wonder and said fuck it. The Saints had to kick a field goal, and left too much time on the clock for the Rams to go down the field and tie it up to send it into overtime, where the Rams would win and go on to the Super Bowl.

Saints fans were pretty upset about all of this, and they decided to pursue legal action against the NFL. Here’s the damages that they were suing the NFL over.

They unfortunately didn’t win, but I believe that if I ran on this same platform I may actually have a chance against Buffalo Wild Wings.

Mental anguish & emotional trauma

Physical trauma to my b-hole

Loss of faith in Buffalo Wild Wings

Loss of enjoyment of life

Distrust in buffalo wings

 

If any of you all are a lawyer, or know a lawyer, please get in touch with me. Buffalo Wild Wings has ruined my life and it’s time to get back at them by taking some dough out of their pockets.

Thank you for your time.

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