Happy Valentine’s Day
“The ancient Romans may also be responsible for the name of our modern day of love. Emperor Claudius II executed two men — both named Valentine — on Feb. 14 of different years in the 3rd century A.D. Their martyrdom was honored by the Catholic Church with the celebration of St. Valentine’s Day.”
Valentine’s Day is one of my least favorite days of the year, since it’s just a reminder of how lonely, worthless, and emotionally disconnected I am with the rest of the world. I normally spend the day wondering if I should cry into my pillow or not, but I always settle on google searching what type of woman I am currently into in that moment and going over to the “videos” tab.
Well this year, there will be no googling for me since our good friends at Pornhub have decided to make Premium free ALL. DAY. LONG.
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!! FREE PREMIUM FOR YOU…AND YOU…AND YOU!! AND EVEN YOU OVER THERE WHO TOLD ME I LOOK LIKE THE POOR MANS OLIVIA MUNN!
— Pornhub ARIA (@Pornhub) February 14, 2019
If Pornhub keeps this beautiful act up, then Valentine’s Day may actually not be that bad at all. Maybe I’ll start circling it on the calendar.
So to all you love birds out there, enjoy your day. Lord knows I will.