Things I Hate: Old People Using Technology

Old people using technology absolutely drives me crazy. Every time I get on Facebook, I just see some kind of pointless post alerting me about they’re dinner that night, or how their kids or grand kids don’t visit them or even pay attention to their existence.

But something happened the other day that almost made me commit my first murder. Now in all reality, there’s a 0% chance that I could’ve killed this old lady. But man oh man she was really pissing me off.

Tuesday afternoon, 3:30, and I’m stuck at the post office. I already have everything packaged up, and I just need to pay for stamps so I can send the letter off. I notice that the Self-Service Kiosk is just a short wait, so I hop in line.

The person at the very front of the kiosk finishes up quickly. It’s time for the old woman in front of me to go, and then I’m up and I can get out of that hell house. It’s approximately 3:38 when old-timer starts her shipping process. I decide that is a good time to start replying to the abundance of texts I’ve received during the day, so I whip out my phone and get to work. Five minutes pass, and I check on oldie’s progress. She’s just now getting to the part of weighing her package. She must be reading every word on the screen or something.

I start playing 2048 on my phone (I’ve gotten the 4096 tile before), hoping that she’ll be done soon. I lose the game and look back up to check her progress. She’s typing the address in of where to send her item to. That’s the step right after you weigh your package by the way. Luckily, she’s finishing the process up so it shouldn’t be too much longer. It’s now 3:49. She’s taken 11 minutes so far.

I fire off a few more texts, hoping that it will kill the very few seconds it should take for her to pay for her label and get out of my way. After the texts, I start another game of 2048 since it was bull shit that I lost and I can’t get the failure off my mind.

I almost have the 2048 tile, before the bag of bones interrupts me.

“Excuse me, honey. Can you help me? The machine won’t take my money.”

I put my phone up and look at the poor, clueless old woman. She possesses only cash, and the Kiosk only takes card. Talk about a “Welcome to the 21st Century” moment.

“You have to insert your card right there. The machine doesn’t take cash.”

“Card? I only have cash.”

old woman.jpg

I guess she doesn’t understand.

“Yeah but the machine doesn’t take it. You have to use your card.”

“Well, I ain’t got my card on me.”

At this point, I’m just ready to get the whole situation out of my face so I can continue on with my day.

“Here, ma’am. I’ll pay for it.”

I step forward and insert my card. The old woman is grateful for my action, and she hands me the $4 it cost to send the package. I give it back to her, and tell her not to worry about. I guess I was feeling generous since it’s the Holiday season.

I know it’s not her fault that she’s old and clueless. Things move fast in our world, and it’s easy for people to get lost in the process. Is it rude for me to have these thoughts about our older generation, more specifically, this sweet and precious old woman? Probably. But isn’t it rude for her to waste twenty minutes of my life trying to use 21st Century machines? Absolutely.

Besides, I didn’t act like a dickhead to her. I kept everything in my head. Plus, I’m sure it made her day that some random young man helped her out AND allowed her to save $4. I’m sure she told everyone about it at Bingo the next day.

And that’s the story about the time I was a good Samaritan.


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