College Football Week 1 Review

Week one of college football has come and gone, and it feels amazing knowing that football is back. In week one, we saw plenty of blowouts, and we saw plenty of sloppy play. Week one doesn’t ruin or make seasons, but it helps us see glimpses of what teams can become while also showcasing their biggest must fixes for their success. Let’s get to reviewing week one by looking at the Top 25 match-ups that took place.

Washington vs Auburn

This game saw only three combined touchdowns, but it was still so entertaining to watch. Stidham and company came out hot scoring on their first drive, but failed to finish drives while settling for field goals instead. Jake Browning and Washington started off sluggish, but eventually found success when they started throwing the ball downfield. Washington took the lead with a field goal at the start of the 4th quarter, but Auburn was able to regain the lead thanks to JaTarvious Whitlow’s rushing touchdown. Washington then got the ball back with a chance to take the lead if they could score a touchdown, but their hopes were ultimately destroyed after a Browning fumble on fourth down. The big story from this game was either Auburn’s D-Line or Washington’s O-Line. Washington only had 102 rushing yards as a team, and you can thank Myles Gaskin’s rush of 25 and Salvon Ahmed’s rush of 22 for that. The Huskies also averaged only 3.1 yards per carry. Auburn’s defensive line was in the backfield all night, and they also got plenty of shots in on Jake Browning almost every time he dropped back to pass. For Washington to dominate the Pac 12 like many have picked them to do, they need to get their shit together up front.

Michigan @ Notre Dame

Probably the most miserable 60 minutes of my life. 33 rushing attempts for Michigan. 58 yards. 1.8 yards per carry. I mean….what the fuck? Shea Patterson looked good at times, and hopefully Michigan will open up the playbook a bit more to allow for him to throw the ball downfield more than once or twice a game. My biggest issue is that it seemed like Michigan was trying to fit a square peg into a round hole all night when it came to play calling. First Down-gain of half a yard up the middle. Second Down-gain of two after throwing a bubble out to the receiver. Third Down-throw it to a curl or out route (probably off of play-action) and hope for the best. The Wolverines’ defense gave up 21 in the first half, but they answered the bell and came out strong while only giving up three points in the second half. The biggest issue Michigan had all night was when it came to containing Notre Dame quarterback Brandon Wimbush. Wimbush made play after play with his legs, which helped the Irish extend drives, which led to them scoring. I’m not worried about Michigan at all, because I know they’ll figure it out. But until then… (pic is current mood)

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LSU vs Miami

I thought this was going to be another low-scoring and close game that came down to the wire. Well, fuck what I think. Miami is absolutely awful, and Malik Rosier might be the worst Power 5 Conference Quarterback in the entire NCAA. 15 for 35 (43%), 1 touchdown, and 2 interceptions. Oh, and a QBR of 12.8. Hard to win games if your quarterback is that bad. Nick Brossette looked like the real deal for the Tigers, and it appears that he’ll be the one to fill Derrius Guice’s shoes. LSU’s defense is also the real deal, as they only gave up three points heading into the 4th quarter. Miami scored twice to end the game, but any real football fan knows that they were just garbage TDs that don’t matter at all. Everyone said that this would be the year that LSU would be down, but Coach O and company seems to have already shut all the critics up. Geaux Tigers!

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Florida State vs Virginia Tech

The Willie Taggart era at Florida State has started and boy oh boy was it a shit show. It was like watching a bunch of retards trying to hump a door knob.


Francois looked good in his first game back since suffering his knee injury (good if you don’t pay attention to his three interceptions). To go with the three interceptions, FSU also fumbled twice, giving Virginia Tech five total turnovers. It’s hard to win a game like that, Seminoles. My biggest concern is Florida State’s rushing attack. As a team, FSU had 94 total rushing yards. Cam Akers led the rushing attack with 14 carries and 82 yards, averaging 5.9 YPC. What you don’t see though is that he had a rush for 85 yards, which means he gained NEGATIVE THREE YARDS on his 13 other carries. Maybe Florida State could build some confidence if they can pick up a win against Samford this Saturday. And if they lose, then fuck it. I guess fire Taggart and try again next year.

Alabama is Still Alabama

The Crimson Tide may never lose a game with Tua at quarterback. The guy is THAT good. 12 for 16, 227 yards, and 2 touchdowns. AND the guy only played like half of the game. I can’t wait to see what his numbers will look like after actually getting a full game. Alabama’s rushing attack was also amazing, as usual. Nine guys carried the rock for Bama, and the team finished with 222 total rushing yards and 5.3 YPC. And all of that inexperienced defensive back talk? Shut down. Two interceptions as a unit, and one returned for a TD. This might be Saban’s best Alabama team yet (say that almost every year), and college football should just take the rest of the season off because Bama will be hoisting the CFB Playoff Championship Trophy once again.


Clemson’s QB Battle

The only team that has a chance to dethrone Alabama this year? Well, it’s Clemson. Ahhh yes, Bama vs Clemson. Basically the Warriors vs Lebron of college football. Clemson’s defense may be good enough to slow down Alabama on offense, but what will they do about their QB situation? Go with the returning starter Kelly Bryant? Or play the freshman phenom Trevor Lawrence? If you were looking for an answer this past weekend against Furman, then keep looking.

Bryant: 10 for 16, 127 yards, 1 TD, 5 carries, 44 rushing yards, 1 rushing TD

Lawrence: 9 for 15, 137 yards, 3 TDs.

With Bryant, you have a dual threat in the backfield. With Lawrence, you have the ability to attack downfield. The good thing for Clemson? Both these guys can play, and they should be alright as a program no matter who the starter is. But expect an answer to come this Saturday as Clemson travels to Aggie Land to take on A&M. If shit hits the fan, who will the Tigers turn to?

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Put Kansas Football on the Death Penalty

The Kansas Jayhawks suffered an embarrassing overtime loss in Week 1 to FCS opponent, Nicholls State. Kansas football has been bad for a long time, and it looks like shits just getting worse and worse.

2010: 3-9, lost to FCS North Dakota State (when they were becoming really fucking good) 3-6.
2011: 2-10
2012: 1-11
2013: 3-9
2014: 3-9
2015: 0-12, lost to FCS South Dakota State 38-41, lost to Memphis at home 23-55 (Memphis is a decent program, but no Power 5 team should lose that bad to them)
2016: 2-10, lost to Ohio by 16 and lost 7-43 at Memphis
2017: 1-11, 28 point loss at home to Central Michigan and 12 point loss at Ohio

This isn’t including all of the ass whoopings they’ve received from fellow Big 12 schools (almost every single conference game is a 50-point loss). At this point, it’s best if Kansas somehow moved out of the Big 12 for football, or even found out a way to demote their program to the FCS level. Or really, just get rid of it completely. Go ALLLLLLL in on that basketball sport. But hey, this is what they get for firing Mark Mangino.




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