Real Life Mean Machine: Offense Tryouts (pt. 2)

It seems like almost every other day you see some sort of athlete in the news for being arrested, and a lot of the time they come from the National Football League. Out of curiosity, I did some research (Googled NFL Arrests) and found that 896 arrests were recorded in a database on USA Today. After scrolling through some of the database I thought “wow, some of these guys are pretty talented. Imagine if they had played together.” and then I was inspired to create my Real Life Mean Machine team. The limit that I put on the team is 90 total players, because that’s how many a NFL team can have on the roster after the conclusion of their Mini-Camp. So the following players will be battling it out during the pre-season for a chance to play for the prestigious Mean Machine team. These guys were arrested, charged, cited, detained, indicted, or they surrendered. Some of these situations aren’t that bad at all, some are pretty bad, and some are terrible. USA Today Database

In Part Two of the Offense Tryout, we look at Wide Receivers, Tight Ends, Offensive Linemen, and Kickers.

Wide Receivers

Josh Gordon- Josh Gordon who used to not be able to pass a drug test was arrested in 2014 for DUI. Gordon faced a 60-Day suspended sentence and $390 in fines. The NFL then suspended him for the entire season, which was then reduced to 10 games.
Roddy White- In 2014, White was arrested for failure to appear. He was pulled over for speeding, and then accused of failing to appear on a tinted window charge he had gotten the year before. Meh.

Dwayne Bowe- Bowe was accused and arrested for marijuana possession after being pulled over for speeding. Bowe pleaded guilty to reduce charges of defective equipment and littering, and had to pay a $610 fine. The NFL also suspended him for one game.

Chad Johnson– OchoCinco was arrested after being accused of head-butting his wife. Chad was put on probation and cut by the Dolphins.

Dez Bryant- Dez was arrested after turning himself in due to accusations of hitting his mother. Dez then went through a diversion program and anger management counseling.

Julian Edelman– This is one of the one’s I’d never heard of. Edelman was arrested in 2011 after he was accused of touching a woman inappropriately at a nightclub on Halloween. his charges were eventually dropped.

Hines Ward- Hines was arrested in 2009 for DUI. He was put on probation for a year and had to pay a $2,000 fine.

Plaxico Burress- Everyone knows Plaxico’s story from the nightclub back in 2008. Plaxico accidentally shot himself in the thigh at a nightclub, and he did not have a permit for the pistol. Plaxico was sentenced to two-years in prison. Plaxico was arrested on Christmas Eve in 2001 for having an open container. He had to pay a $50 fine and $100 for court costs. He was then arrested again in 2002 for public intoxication after being accused of being drunk in public and causing disturbances in Virginia Beach. The charges were agreed to be dropped if he stayed clean for a year.

Steve Smith- Steve was arrested in 2002 for assault after hitting Anthony Bright in a team film meeting. Bright had to go to the hospital and unfortunately had to get facial surgery done. Smith went through a diversion program and anger counseling. The Panthers suspended him for a game.

Randy Moss– Randy was arrested in 2002 for reckless driving and drug possession. A police officer stepped in front of Randy’s car to prevent an illegal turn, and Moss then “pushed the cop with his car”. Marijuana was found in the car. Moss had to complete 40 hours of community service and was handed a 30-Day Jail Sentence.

Tight Ends

Kellen Winslow Jr- Winslow Jr was cited in 2005 for reckless driving. Winslow was accused of disregarding safety in motorcycle accident near his home. He tore up his knee in the accident, causing him to miss the season. He pleaded no contest to the misdemeanor charge, and was fined. In 2013, he was then charged for drug possession after being accused of possessing synthetic marijuana. He went through a diversion program as result.

Fred Davis- Davis has been arrested three different times in his career, and cited another time. In 2010, he was arrested after being pulled over for speeding and found to be driving under a suspended license. Davis faced a 10-day sentence and a $2,500 fine. His license was suspended for 90 days. Davis was then cited exactly a month later and was charged with driving on a suspended license and falsely identifying himself to police in Loudon County. Davis was given a 30-day suspended sentence, was fined another $2,500. Davis was then arrested exactly 3 months after his 2nd incident, and was charged with reckless driving for going 20 mph over the speed limit. He pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of speeding and paid a $75 fine. Davis then was arrested in 2014 for DUI. Someone called the police to report that a man was asleep in their Rolls Royce in Tysons Corner, VA. Those charges were dropped.

Aaron Hernandez- Unfortunately, everyone knows this story. In 2013, Hernandez was charged with first-degree murder in the death of Odin Lloyd. Hernandez also faced five gun charges. Hernandez was convicted and faced life in prison. Everyone knows the rest.

Offensive Linemen

Matt Kalil- Kalil was charged in November of 2017 after being accused of selling alcohol to minors at a pizza restaurant in Minnesota, despite not being present at the time of the sale.

Jason Peters- Peters has been arrested two different times. In 2011, he was arrested for disturbing the peace in Shreveport, LA after playing his music too loud. In 2013, he was arrested for drag racing and resisting arrest in Monroe, LA. Peters pleaded guilty to lesser charges and was fined $656.50.

Willie Roaf- Roaf was arrested in 2002 for DUI in Kansas. He then went through a diversion program.

Bryant McKinnie- McKinnie was arrested in 2003 for obstruction after interferring with police in Miami. That charge was dropped. He was then arrested in 2005 for disorderly conduct after refusing to leave a gas station and a deli in Minneapolis, but that charge was dropped too. McKinnie was also one of the ones charged for the Vikings Love Boat incident. He pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct and being a public nuisance. McKinnie was handed 48 hours of community service and a $1,000 fine. He was then arrested in 2008 for battery after spitting on a Miami nightclub security guard. The NFL then suspended him for 4 games.

Brandon Walker- Walker was arrested twice in the same week in 2009. The first arrest came after an outstanding warrant was issued in Norman, OK. Walker failed to pay a ticket for driving without proper registration and proof of insurance. He was then arrested later in the week for DUI in Norman. The Texans released him two days later.

Marco Rivera- Marco was pulled over for going 95mph in Brown County, and then had a BAC that measured at .19. He was fined $455 for speeding and $675 for DUI.

Eric Steinbach- Steinbach was arrested after being accused of drunken boating in Cincinnati. He also refused to take a breathalyzer. He then went through a diversion program while doing 10 hours of community service. Steinbach also had to take a safe boating class.

Jeremy Newberry- Newberry was arrested in 2002 after being accused of hitting a woman several times in the face on a boat. His sister was also accused of jumping in. Charges were dropped.

Samson Satele- Samson was arrested for disorderly conduct at a shopping complex in Hawaii. He was then signed by the Colts.

Kickers (A Lot More than Expected)

Matt Prater- Prater was arrested in 2008 for DUI after refusing a breathalyzer. He served 50 hours of community service and had his license suspended for 6 months. He was then arrested in 2011 for a 2nd DUI. Prater allegedly backed his Chevy Trailblazer into a parked car and then fled the scene.

Lawrence Tynes- Tynes was arrested in 2005 for battery after breaking a bouncer’s nose in a bar fight. He was fined $397.

Sebastian Janikowski– Janikowski was arrested for possession of GHB in 2000. He was acquitted by jury. He then was arrested in 2002 for DUI with a BAC of .20. He was put on probation for three years and had to pay a fine of $1,292. Janikowski followed all of this up with a 2003 arrest after being accused of misdemeanor assault, vandalism, and public drunkenness after a fight at a club in California. Those charges were dropped though due to a lack of evidence.

Neil Rackers- Rackers was charged for assault after being accused of choking a man at a sports bar in Covington, KY. The man apparently insulted Rackers’ wife and mother. Rackers went through a diversion program and the charge was dropped in exchange for a confidential settlement with the victim.


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